Wow, I didn’t know I would be getting serious again so soon! It’s not easy to put oneself out there, but I’m all about transparency. And today I’m talking about an important life issue that is very personal to me.
Have you ever felt pressure to live life a certain way? Like there is a pre-determined path that we must follow, namely the cookie cutter lifestyle – get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids? I feel like this is the norm in our society and we are encouraged to live it.
In a survey conducted by SK-II, “1 out of 3 women in Asia feel that there’s a pre-decided timeline for how to live your life and when to do things (marriage, career, education, kids etc) that they are expected to follow.”
In no way am I saying this is a bad way to live. Heck, I know so many are happy and fulfilled with this kind of lifestyle. But being in my 30’s I definitely have felt a certain pressure to follow the norm and to achieve what we all may fancy – the perfect life. What does that even mean? I understand my idea of a perfect life, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s yours.
I stress to you that I am grateful for everything that I have – a husband who loves and supports me, a roof over my head, a job I love, and two adorable puppies. But I do still have questions and doubts with the future.
To be frank, I am at a crossroads with the notion of having kids. I mean, I already have two amazing kids who are puppies. That still counts right? Haha. But seriously, I have never had the urge to become a mother. And even though Lawrence is ready to be a father, I have doubts. Aside from not craving the idea of motherhood, I have many unanswered queries about becoming a parent. If we were to have a child, how do I raise one in a world that is increasingly becoming dangerous and hard to live in? Would we be able to provide them all they need as cost of living increases. Would we be able to still have a comfortable life and save for retirement knowing that we are going to be spending everything on them probably till their mid twenties. Will my life over?!
Ok that was a little dramatic. But I’m sure these are the kind of questions that crosses one’s minds at the thought of children. At least, I know it has crossed mine.
I’m sure I’m not alone and there are many out there that have also felt the same. And many have changed their tune after becoming a parent. I would love to hear your thoughts and if you have any insight to give me.
As always, thank you for stopping by and enjoy more of my London photos!
Xx
Tee
*This blog post is in collaboration with SK-II
This survey was conducted online by Procter & Gamble in May 2017 among 4280 women and 3261 men ages 18 years of age and older in the following countries Japan (n=1006), Korea (n=1010), China (n=1006), Hong Kong (n= 301), Taiwan (n= 303), Thailand (n= 302), Malaysia (n=309), Indonesia (n= 304), United States (n= 1000) , United Kingdom (n= 1000) and Australia (n=1000).
4 Comments
Ahhhhhhh kids in 2017.. I remember being in university thinking I would graduate by 21, be married by 23 and have my TWO kids by 25… WRONG. I absolutely relate on the pressures of the timeline for Asian women but the thought of having kids in this day and age is scary. Am I ready? Are they going to be well cared for financially? Can I afford more than 1?
I have zero insights as the thought of having kids scare the crap outta me, but I can definitely relate! You are not alone! Maybe one day? Maybe we’ll love it? Maybe it’s not for us? Only time can tell.. but I’m sure if it does come around to it you’ll be a GREAT mommy.
Awww you are so sweet babe! Time is definitely ticking, and my body is not getting any younger. But you know what, I know you will be an amazing mom and have crazy beautiful children! Thank you for the best message! Xx
I relate so much to how you feel. As a person who loves children, growing up, it always felt like a necessity to have children someday and that is still something that I want. But the older I get and the more aware of the world I become, the more I question it. For me, there are so many things that you can’t protect your kids from, normal parts of life like anxiety and heartbreak for example. Going through extremes of both of those things, it would kill me to watch my kid go through that not be able to do much if anything. And that doesn’t even include the other real dangers that the world is facing. And then there are my worries of my capability to be a mother. The last thing I want is to be the reason my kid is screwed up.
As for the timeline, I feel that too. I am so worried about how it’s taking me to finish school and what kind of career I will be able to build for myself in the future. The only thing I’ve learned is that timelines are a social construct and that reaching them or not are in no way telling of who you are as a person. Everything happens for people when it’s supposed to happen, I really believe that. So when it comes to timelines and having kids, go into it as organically as possible. Kids especially are scary to contemplate, but if and when it happens, you will find a way to make everything work for your family and have a beautiful and fulfilling life.
I think that response was all over the place, but I hope it helped! 🙂
Hi babe! Oh my gosh, this message was beautifully written and I absolutely agree with everything you’ve said. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, I really appreciate it. Xx